There are lots of amazing awakened beings out there. But many don’t know how to teach. To communicate effectively. They say beautiful and very true statements, but the vibration is placed so far out of reach that it triggers more confusion.

And so their students and clients stay in a neverending rat race.

This is why old school channels are still in business doing exactly the same thing after so many years with little to no evolution in presentation. Because very few people can successfully implement it.

It’s certainly not intentional in most cases. And unfortunately, being awakened is not sufficient credibility anymore.

This work requires maturity, patience, skill, listening, adjustment, and humility above all else.

The biggest gift a teacher can give themselves is ensuring that their communications provide effective changes for those who show up to receive.

The biggest gift a teacher can give themselves is showing up so effectively that they make their teachings obsolete and are forced to evolve into whatever is needed next.

Please don’t try to decipher philosophy that doesn’t have any foundation in actual trauma-informed human psychology. Philosophy (in my view) is a waste of time. The real work rings profoundly true and hits you like a brick wall. Stops you in your tracks and drops your jaw.

Yes, this work can at times be easy and graceful, and simultaneously it must assist us in approaching the most uncomfortable parts of the psyche or nothing will shift. That’s exactly what gives personal development a bad name in the mainstream.

I am challenging myself to go deeper and get more raw than ever before this year, knowing that my own ongoing evolution is absolutely connected to the evolution of the incredible people I assist.

I have given my life away to this. Not as martyrdom but because I trust the process.

I am yours. And therefore I can take ownership of navigating humanity, thus empowering others to do the same.

In absolute service to this family of us. Blessings 



People speak about Triggers as if they are problems.

This is exactly the backward perspective in our culture.

This perspective is based on shame.

“This person is never triggered, so they’re cool. This person is triggered all the time, so they are annoying.

Let’s be the “Good” person, who never gets triggered! Yay!”

This is entirely driven by unhealthy self-images that are motivated to HIDE the Truth. To HIDE from the real issue.

I had a client recently who said: “I hope you don’t get triggered when I work with you, I tend to trigger a lot of the healers who have tried to help me.”

This may be completely True! And it’s only remarkable because those healers were afraid of their triggers.

My response “Actually, I’m planning on getting Triggered. That’s the medicine. That’s the doorway into the Quantum Field. If you don’t trigger me I’ll trigger myself!”

So, what’s on the other side of the fear of triggers?

Glory. Power. Truth. Clarity. Ease. Individuation.

A trigger is simply an activation of trauma. Trauma contains a HUGE amount of unprocessed energy. That energy could be from personal experience or it could be collective wounding.
This unprocessed energy contains TIME. We step out of TIME, when we step INTO a trigger. This is the liminal space, the quantum field, the awakened dream, the causal body, the core creator body. Whatever terminology is used, that’s where it’s hidden.

By embracing and moving into this experience, by clearly recognizing triggers as doorways and opportunities, we shed the SHAME with which they are typically associated. If you need an enemy, let it be the shame instead of the powerful expression.

People often imagine there is a ‘Right” thing to say. This is a blockage on our True expression. The “Right” thing is simply expressing the energy the nervous system is holding. It’s not a specific sentence, it’s a sentiment. It doesn’t even need to be heard by other people, it only needs to be heard by the individual whose system contains the trauma.

The uncomfortable truth MUST come out if we are to scrub our systems of distortion. To come back into alignment with our soul.

The MORE uncomfortable it is, the MORE power it contains. Power lives in pain. The pressure which creates pain is Power, which can be rerouted into our chosen focus. It’s uncomfortable because we are accustomed to disowning our power. We have been trained to be rule followers. We have been trained to avoid intimidating people. We have been trained to prefer weakness over being perceived as a threat. We have been trained to believe we are NOT innocent, to believe we are NOT angels, to believe we are NOT trustworthy with power.

This conditioning has prevented us from individuation from our parents and from the collective. The more deeply we see and VALUE our infinitely UNIQUE experience, the more we recognize our INDIVIDUAL gifts, the more we recognize that everybody’s gifts are entirely unique and that there is actually no competition. Living in a culture of deep permission is actually NOT dangerous. Living a life of deep permission is literally how we have been designed.

As we individuate, the clarity of our desires becomes louder than the collective noise which has previously been drowning us out. It takes focus and practice to amplify and act upon the true direction of our soul. Moving our focus into that stream opens up an infinitely expansive flow of power, which we can continue to exponentially increase by seeking and destroying all blockages with vigilance and precision. This decisive attunement further builds our self-trust and empowers us to assist others in the process as well.

Thanks for reading, happy to answer any questions. Feel free to share.


Photographer: Unknown


We’ve been taught some real bullsh*t about addiction.

It’s not as black and white as it’s been presented.

Every unconscious addiction is based on unprocessed grief, which is also a lack of connection.

There are also conscious addictions, which are very helpful and necessary.

Every addiction is serving a purpose.

Negative addictions cause people to temporarily feel connected and provides some sense of their needs being fulfilled. Some sense of wholeness.

Positive addictions give people an outlet of expression. A forum in which they can cultivate a skillset.

I am expressing it this way, in favor of the word “addiction”, because the deeper issue is actually around the concept of addition itself. By salvaging and neutralizing this word, we become less afraid of our desires.

I recently worked with a client who struggled with overeating. I had her try the statement “I’m passionate about delicious food”. It was challenging for her to say, even though it’s true, because she was afraid of her desire. What if I become TOO passionate?

Well, actually that’s a great thing. When true passion shows up, the food will stop being objectified and start being truly appreciated. Maybe you’ll become a chef.

What if someone has a sex addiction? The negative addiction is driven by loneliness, desperation, greed, distraction, objectification.

But what if the addiction is truly owned and transformed into a higher calling? For me, this meant thoroughly enjoying celibacy. The powerful clear boundary was surprisingly refreshing and gave me a deep understanding of the safe energy people need in order to feel around other sexual beings. I like to say, all healing is sexual healing.

Going cold-turkey on most addictions without looking at the deeper need is generally going to cause terrible consequences. Unless we are prepared to replace it with something.

One of the funny things about 12 step programs (which have been amazingly effective for millions of people) is that that the meetings can be replacement addictions for whatever they are quitting. They provide a form of connection.

It’s often surprising to people when they discover that cannabis addiction can be resolved by using cannabis – but differently. The way I work with cannabis in a shamanic capacity, it’s impossible to become negatively addicted because it is highly uncomfortable, sometimes leading to vomiting, and always requires profound courage. It is never the same experience twice. It’s a complete unknown and always a risk to the ego. This leaves nothing to crave or to be addicted to. This approach causes people to deeply respect her power and to refrain from recreational usage.

A negative addiction is a passion that is not fully owned. A smoker who is berating themselves during their entire cigarette is going to give themselves extreme anxiety and will feel the urge for another band-aid smoke very soon. But a smoker who is fully committed to getting massive enjoyment from their cigarette won’t need another one when they deeply scratch the itch.

What we’re really addicted to is avoiding the fear of going without, underneath which we are addicted to the fear of scarcity.

Every unconscious addiction is run by fear of death at the deepest level. And this is maintained by avoidance. Fear is the Fear of Fear. And so when we look at the fear and get deeply honest and courageous about the true motives, the whole puzzle unravels and we become free to choose authentically.

Every spiritual master has at least 1 – 3 intentional addictions. Addictions are necessary to keep us alive, as channels of expression. Our mind needs an activity to rest on without constantly shifting. Many spiritual masters have been smokers or drinkers. Or eaters. Some have of course been sex addicts, which is a very challenging addiction to maintain without crossing boundaries. I’m not completely opposed to it, it worked for Osho and others like him, but they also garnered a lot of hatred and turbulence in that so it’s not something I would personally recommend. However, I don’t condemn it either.

Sex addiction specifically is generally based on the belonging wound which can be addressed quite deeply to the point of self-sufficiency, so the compulsive component is not necessarily difficult to integrate. If it’s then completely conscious and intentional (not driven by fear-based cravings), none of my business if you have at it ??

Many people are both driven to be disciplined and at the same time motivated to honor desires and to give the body what it wants. So, how do we know what the right answer is?

It’s not a question of when and what we do (masculine) it’s a question of how we do it (feminine). If we see our craving for something or someone, and we take full responsibility for honoring that craving as an entry point into a PROCESS, it disallows us from living in an illusion that we can actually emerge ‘satisfied’. Satisfaction is always temporary.

The true goal is NOT satisfaction, it is integration. We are weaving the perceived experience of satisfaction deeply into our being in order to touch the part of us which fears we can not ever get what we really want.

We are learning to re-parent ourselves. Our inner child will always want more! More! More! Instead of drawing a hard line, we can gently empathize with the true needs of the inner child and determine an intentional and generative solution.

I hope this sheds some light. Happy to answer any questions. Feel free to share.


[Photographer: Unknown]



Today we will be seeing the energy of Anger through a new lens.

Anger is our “calling for backup”, bringing extra resources to empower us for a situation.

Anger is a necessary (and often the most challenging) stage of the grieving process.

But before we begin I must first say:
I am so sorry you were hurt. Your childhood was painful. Your life has been a trial by fire.
This brings me such deep sadness.
At the same time, I am so grateful for your incredible strength. Your willingness to persevere. This willpower is nothing short of a miracle. I’m sure you have surprised yourself at times, with what you are capable of. Because your Will is made if the same stuff as the Will of the planet. You are a qualified representative of Earth herself.

I hear so much about people not knowing how to handle their anger. It destroys relationships, self-trust, and creates wounded children.

And at the same time, your anger is justified. Your anger is literally the Earth protecting herself.

Anger is the arising of power in the consciousness. In response to a boundary. It can be a boundary that was crossed, or a boundary that is expected or perceived to be crossed. Anger is an excuse to be powerful when the personality structure normally rejects that particular aspect and depth of power. It is the will of God arriving to help you.

Anger is also an indicator of a failed dam, a power protection mechanism. Because the sense of self-limits power and anger is the dam breaking through. Someone who gets angry often is generally closer to reality than the person who shuts down their anger and disallows the floodgates to ever burst.

I recently wrote “anger is the orgasm you’ve been looking for”. I’ll expand further on this now.

The feminine orgasm specifically (which is readily available to men as well) is a turning inside out of sense of the self inside of power. Thus, the feminine orgasm is the most direct way in which power can typically be funneled into a nervous system.

Anger is the result of disallowing the desired orgasm. Orgasms are generally experienced when one feels safe, and anger is generally experienced when one feels unsafe. Both are the same flood of power response, but interpreted in different ways.

Anger CAN exist in the space of a masculine orgasm, and CAN NOT exist in the space of a feminine orgasm. Thus, masculine orgasms are highly addictive whereas feminine orgasm requires massive courage to experience. Both are possible regardless of gender.

It is a crucial but often a scary task to surgically reunite the fractured aspects of self, anger and default consciousness. To reinterpret the sensation of anger as a flood of God’s backup coming for help. This is because the presence of anger always depends in the presence of shame. When the shame is dissolved, power becomes orgasmic.

Shame is anger directed at ourselves. It is God’s reinforcements being misused and misdirected. The dam turns out to be made of Pure Gold.

Shame is so incredibly painful. It is also known as “interpersonal disconnection”. This is the cause of power blindness and has resulted in virtually every problem known to humankind.

People often prize their shame, mistaking negative shame for positive shame. Positive shame drives us to “do better” and negative shame drives us to “feel bad”. People often say “I’ll do better!” But what they really feel is “I suck!”. Getting honest about the existence of negative shame is getting honest about addiction to self-abuse.

By experiencing the sadness caused by the self-abuse of shame, we can once again see anger as the divine neutral power it actually is.
Shutting down anger literally creates toxicity which must be purged. Breathing brings in oxygen and helps the fire burn as it needs to.

The energetic movement known as Forgiveness is releasing the dams of negative shame.

Channeling the reclaimed power from anger, with clarity, can create wondrous and seemingly impossible outcomes. We are so ridiculously powerful, and hardly anyone realizes the extent to what we can do.

Shame keeps us in the addiction to the realm of scarcity: time, need and fear.

Beyond this, we are superconscious wizard warrior synchronicity based plasma beings.

The bridge is revealing itself.



[Artwork by Alisha Lee Jeffers]



Dear [Straight] Men, This message is for you.

We have long been taught that women like masculine men.

We have been taught that women want ‘polarity’, that this is sexy and will turn them on.

This may be true, but there is a deeper truth available to you.

The reality is, changing your behavior for a woman will cause you to resent yourself.

Changing your behavior to be ‘sexy’ or to ‘satisfy her’ in any way is self-betrayal of the highest order.

I have recently written about ‘no polarity’ in a romantic relationship.

This isn’t to say that there should NOT be a polarity, but rather that you should NOT be focusing on it. Once we embody the perspective of the SOUL, polarity is absolutely irrelevant.

Trying to create polarity is trying to create distance from the Truth.

And at the same time, we will naturally be perceived as very masculine in all the necessary ways. That’s all they want, is to perceive us as masculine. Not to actually BE masculine.

These are incredibly different. It’s actually HER who wants to BE masculine, even though she may deeply deny it.

For a man, honoring his feelings (his femininity) is often what feels more true (even though he is addicted to denying having any needs), moving all the way into that is actually going to result in greater masculinity, as counter-intuitive as it may be.

Women will often tell you, be this way or be that way. And, they are right in wanting that. However, in telling you what they want they are unintentionally misleading you.

Only the grown-ass mature women is masculine enough to hold space for her man to feel who he really is. She is not attached to immediate gratification because she already knows she is safe.

This is why I will not date a hyper-feminine woman, because that is a daddy issue waiting to happen.

Becoming more feminine is how we as men become perceived as more masculine. As insane as it may seem.

The nature of trauma causes us to have a flimsy protective masculine coating over our highly feminine grief.

If we allow the grief to burn away, the false masculine burns away too and liberates that energy to become true and thousands of times more powerful.

Everything I know about women I learned from my cat. The rhythm, the desire, the boundaries.

A cat doesn’t have any interest in a desperate and needy person. They want to be left alone.

But when your energy clearly doesn’t need them, they will hunt you down to be cuddled and pet.

When your hand is right next to them, but not petting them, they can’t resist forcing their head under your still hand to feel the weight.

The embodied masculine is still – similar to the disembodied feminine (laziness).

The rabid and hungry feminine is activated and seeking, similar to the disembodied masculine (desperate).

Don’t be fooled by the teenage lies shared by ‘the way of the superior man’. This is wounded manipulation, too afraid to question the deeper motive of “Why do I actually want this?”

We are growing up as a species. Sex is no longer required to understand ourselves. There are ways to grow up without this incessant self-sabotage.

Sex is just another thing to do, when you’re living a life where everything is amazing.

Like us, well-intended women are trained to objectify. This is called behaviorism. It’s toxic. It’s unacceptable.

It’s time to truly see the feminine in her pain, without trying to save her. Trust her about how she feels, but not about what you should do.

Don’t ever try to prove to her what’s right or what’s wrong. You will never make her grow up. She must choose it.

Follow what’s right for you. Your feelings are never wrong. You can use your masculine energy to guide your feminine energy deeper and deeper.

And ultimately, she’ll thank you for staying the course. Even after she complained thoroughly. She needs to be seen in that process.

And she is teaching you. You are her student in this way. She is ultimately the master once you know how the game really operates.

This is what it means to truly come alive.

Thank you.


The Pitfalls of Anthropomorphizing Power

If I look at a pitcher throwing a baseball and seeing it hit by a batter…I could say the ball is the feminine and it is “submitting” to the thrust of the bat, which is masculine. Makes perfect sense and most readers will agree. However, some readers will also pick up on the fact that the bat is being driven by a person. So, now there is a spectrum of masculinity in this analysis. The bat is both giving and receiving. And in macro view, it’s doing neither (its molecules are basically stationary).

It can be easy to anthropomorphize the bat and the ball to imagine they desire to impact one another…simply because doing so offers results.

Continue reading



Just because you CAN eat more, and want to, doesn’t mean you should.

Just because you CAN get paid for that job, and want the money, doesn’t mean you should.

Just because you CAN have sex, and want to, doesn’t mean you should.

Every decision we make is an allotment of our sexual energy.

The animal within us is designed to make impulsive decisions based on the fight/flight/freeze/f*ck brain

In fact, it’s no mistake that the f*ck impulse often resembles and even sounds like a fight.

It’s no coincidence that people are addicted to masochistically receiving pain, or to sadistically inflicting it.

These impulses are created by trauma, which is a chronic engagement of the brain’s fear center.

From the standpoint of our bio-computer, there is no difference between a fear and a craving. Both represent our relationship with power as an external force.

In the work that I do, people expose to me their deepest vulnerabilities. Their most tender pains.

It is of the utmost importance that I ensure the deepest possible clarity of my sexual energy.

On the one hand, suppressing my animal instincts is harmful. They must be thoroughly acknowledged, understood, and felt.

On the other hand, these instincts must be adequately dealt with BEFORE those healing experiences so as to maintain rapport and safety for myself and each individual.

Self-control and emotional regulation means making a firm decision, creating firm boundaries with ourselves, in regard to our values. Our values are literally ‘who we are’. We can only trust ourselves and trust our values if we are aware of them.

I feel temptation often. Many women (not all) test my integrity, consciously or unconsciously, multiple times per day. I know all the tricks. The damsel in distress. The oral movements. The subtle invitations. One could say that the temptation I’m feeling is an empathic experience of the temptation they are feeling.

The part that makes this complex is when they believe they ‘want’ me, where in reality what they usually want at a deeper level is simply to be seen and felt.

The self-control on my part must click in and remind me regularly that it actually has nothing to do with me. Any desire I have to feel special and wanted is an animalistic response to the empathic experience we’re sharing.

One of the fundamental misunderstandings regarding sexuality is that we need a partner to experience it. There’s nothing non-sexual about us. Every step we take relies on sexuality. Our forward movement is our very being making sweet love to life.

Sexuality has been simultaneously grossly underestimated and overestimated at the same time. Underestimated, in that it exists in our whole lives and not just in the bedroom. Overestimated when the physical intimacy is taken for granted as some sort of cure-all, and not having its motivations more deeply questioned.

The seeking of pleasure is one of the most fundamental scarcity based addictions of humanity, because it depends on the avoidance of pain. No one who is in a state of play (our natural state) will ever insist on locating more pleasure.

When I experience a woman approaching me from the motivation of unconscious pain, it can still feel flattering. Her playfulness can appear completely genuine, even to herself, not realizing it’s a persona designed to manipulate my animal aspects.

It would be quite harmful for me to engage in the vast majority of impulses I feel. Those impulses are most often not in integrity with my soul. If my presence, for example, were significantly deeper than the presence of my partner…a sexual relationship without a commitment would cause a re-traumatization of the belonging wound which causes the sexual addiction in the first place. The ‘toxic masculine’ aspect of a man’s animal aspect has no problem using and discarding a woman as a disposable piece of meat. Obviously, this is not a sustainable practice for society.

The real opportunity is in the acknowledgement of a man’s own pain which fuels this objectified temptation to use and discard.

Practices like polyamory capitalize on the existence of this wounding, justifying it as normal human behavior simply because of a lack of trauma resolving tools. Nothing is ‘wrong’ with any sort of sexual perspective, there are simply varying levels of depth that each individual may or may not be ready to assimilate.

To me, the real question is: Does an individual want to meet a need, or to resolve it? Most people are deeply afraid of resolving needs. A need coming to completion is the ultimate freedom, and yet from the perspective of scarcity this concept can feel like a trap. The incredible irony in this confusion is unmistakable, when the emotional freedom appears to be a trap.

What if I’m not walking around craving sex anymore? Then what? Will anyone still want me? How can I be attractive if I’m not driven to procreate?

This freedom is the space in which our power can be fully honored and expressed. Our energy can be focused in totality, free of the need for approval. No longer do we obsess about how we are perceived.

It would be irresponsible to idealize or condemn anyone’s current state or status. We are where we are. So this brings about the practical question of, what do I do with this information? The key for all transcendence lies in paradox. Touching upon and holding multiple realities simultaneously.

I control and regulate my primal urges, except for the times I choose to fully let them loose and experience them to their core.

I operate with impeccable precision and thoughtfulness, except for the times when I choose to embody the wildness of my rabid beast.

I focus on my breathing as a sustainable means of distributing my sexual energy, except for the times in which I choose to focus on tearing a loved one’s clothes off.

Remember that attachment will more than likely result from your physical intimacy, but also no need to be obsessed about it.

Allow for the reality that sexual ‘needs’ are illusions based on trauma, and yet we can also create devotional spaces in which to give ourselves permission to explore those deepest desires.

It’s important too that we understand that we must psychologically individuate before we can spiritually awaken. The emotional function of sex is for the purpose of achieving individuation. This is why it remains relevant, even in light of all I’ve shared here. It’s not a story completing tool, but it is an individuation cultivation modality. This is exactly why teenagers start becoming curious about sex, because that’s our primary individuation stage of development. Sex cravings are sourced from the inner teenager aspect of the nervous system.

There are many tools for accomplishing true need resolution. It won’t be likely to occur through reading material.

One of the main points here is that Sex is NOT needed to heal sexual wounding. The Quantum Theater experience that I facilitate is one such tool and opportunity for going deeper in a safe way. Feel free to connect with me about scheduling an experience, or I can help find you another way that feels right for you.


Lust is both Heaven and Hell

Lust is both Heaven and Hell

It’s the name of a loop we get distracted into

Most people don’t realize that their lust is pre-programmed into them by their family’s unconscious values. Very specific family dynamics are wanting to play on repeat.

Because it’s the easiest way to channel our firey demon energy. Our inner BEAST. It’s got to go SOMEWHERE, afterall….

I know that temptation very well. And nothing is wrong with it….It’s simply very easy to become unconscious of. If you use it….USE IT to tear you apart. USE IT to rip the initial attraction from your system aka Resolve Your Needs (more on this soon). It’s medicine so you can heal…and if it does its job you don’t need that medicine anymore.

What if that power was reclaimed, to be saved for our True Intentions? So our Inner Angel could also be charged up and activated for the Truth of our holy mission?



Your Mission

If you’re unsure about your relationship or craving a new one, your mission is unclear

If you’re feeling annoyed at the world’s noise, your mission is unclear

If you’re depressed and wallowing or anxious and wobbling your mission is unclear

If you’re not willing to forgive someone, your mission is unclear

If you’re not willing to surrender to the Truth, your mission is unclear

If you’re not sure where you want to live, your mission is unclear

If you’re pretty happy and pretty content but it seems like something is still missing…

Any questions?