We always have more options than we realize.
We cannot see our options as they truly exist because our energy is stuck in fight or flight, and so and we habitually disregard our emotional experience as a means for survival.
“Play” is options consciousness.
By relaxing the nervous system we can come out of codependent behaviors and this allows for aligned creative solutions to strike us.
Image: A frame from the film Dean by Demitri Martin
From a wounded perspective, shadowed power can appear to be light and true light can appear as shadowed power.
This is a great time to discover our true motives for emulating others, for attempting to attain really anything at all.
Diving into truth reveals our backward thinking, our unnecessary protective habits, searching for whatever feels like home.
Our true motives very often are caused by wanting to be seen in a certain way, especially by ourselves. This is what it looks like when shame is driving.
If we can become safe in being humiliated in front of ourselves, nothing can harm us and we move toward returning to the zero point of self-image.
A True sense of Safety has absolutely nothing to do with circumstances and everything to do with trusting in our own competency, resilience, and significance.
Seeing ourselves as totally capable is the best decision we can ever make, and this individuation process is often ignored in all of the fancy spiritual discussions.
Structure is necessary for wildness to truly be trustworthy, as you alluded toward. A baby is wild and innocent but that doesn’t make their decisions trustworthy because they lack structure.
This is where the boundaries discussion comes in, as (healthy) leadership tends to demonstrate what strong boundaries look and feel like.
Those who set the container need not be the strongest or wisest, but hierarchy is necessary in order to simply organize what being on the “same page” consists of.
Encouraging the wildness is also why I enjoy being available for all personal questions.
While Male bodied wounding most often craves (feels safest) to be mothered, most female-bodied wounding most often craves to be FATHERED.
We generally desire to embody what we perceive to be lacking. Fear and Desire both arise out of wounding, and so we are attracted to what we fear.
More specifically, we are attracted to what we fear (and desire) BECOMING.
In looking through the lens of the dating world:
Just as cats hunt playfully, Women are more suited to choose Men and not vice versa.
Swarming like bees for pollen, Hunting as a form of Play. This illustrates the immense need to eliminate competition between women.
Men’s forays into hunting are strategic. It is not open-ended. It is targeted. This orientation is dangerous and tempts men into using and objectifying women.
It is natural for the woman to approach the man. A man in his truth is focused on his mission, not on women.
A man who is looking for a date is indulging in his addiction. He does not believe he is capable of embodying what she embodies.
Healthy men say NO to sexual encounters much more often than they say yes. This simultaneously provides feminine wounding the fathering experience they crave.
Female lions hunt for the pack because lions do not have the embedded PRIDE wounding urging them achieving a certain status based on their kill.
In fact, WOMEN are readily designed for decision making in the workforce as they excel in matters of community and finance. They are innately designed to collaborate and SHARE authentically, whereas men are innately less in need of community…which ironically when a man is experienced as a ‘safe’ person tends to experience community forming around them.
The common feminine stereotype of ‘Airy Fairyness’ is a result of the Feminine wounding craving becoming the Masculine because the True masculine is information which is of the air.
The ultimate symbol of masculinity is the Sun, while “Mother Earth” is, of course, the feminine.
The Kundalini rising (from the earth) brings the feminine (inner child) into the brain (the Sun of the Body) – which represents the inner parent.
Many times people have Kundalini awakenings prematurely, which means that their inner parent is not sufficiently developed and does not know how to handle the wildness of the inner child (integrated knowledge of boundaries).
Women do NOT need to learn how to surrender to men. Prioritizing that is literally INSANE.
Women need to learn how to trust their OWN will, to trust THEMSELVES. In doing so, they can then discern who is truly safe and who isn’t.
Then, they can spot a man in his addiction and will KNOW that surrendering to him would be irresponsible to themselves. In having that awareness and self-trust, surrendering to a safe and integrated man becomes automatic and does NOT need to be learned or practiced.
Average Women report a significantly higher amount of exercise and quality of life than men. Women report exercising for weight loss and toning more than men, whereas men report exercising for enjoyment more than women.
This is why we see almost all WOMEN in yoga classes, while men are out playing baseball, tracking sports stats (or their own sex stats), trying to lift a certain amount of weight, simply for the metric of achievement. Men are measuring their progress because subconsciously they hope that they can one day become as powerful as WOMEN.
This is also the cause of witch hunts: For centuries men have pulled every card to demonize and disgrace expressions of femininity.
Because they both fear and desire it.
Women are much more commonly found singing and dancing because they are generally more compassionate toward the subtle energetic needs of their bodies (the Earth). Women are much more likely to have eating disorders because they oscillate between fear and desire with food. Which is closeness with the Earth.
Men are more often aimed at PUSHING to achieve an external goal in order to symbolically change the public perception of themselves, motivated to make an impact (like the sun makes an impact). Making an impact then gives them ‘permission’ to change their perception of themselves.
When men ‘bulk up’ to appear a certain way, they are manipulating perspective to demonstrate the impact they can potentially make. Specifically, because they do not have the subtle energetic tools which women have, to make an INTERNAL impact, and thus they believe they need a woman to accomplish this.
Men are generally addictively on the hunt for measurable glory, which they will later convert to positive feelings. Hunting for the Truth CAN be a healthy addiction when it is NOT connected to self-worth (when the larger part of the self-image is purified and restored to innocence). Male lions defend their territory because they are designed to protect their right to exist (information), NOT because they feel pride, and NOT because they fear shame.
Women are addictively on the hunt specifically and DIRECTLY by following the subtle energetics of the qualitative Truth, and generally NOT for the purpose of accumulating information. This CAN be a healthy addiction when understood as curation without attachment. This is why it is often said that “God is a Woman”, or that women are closer to the imprint of the Truth. Because Men’s natural addiction is one step removed from completely valuing this direct experience.
The Feminine innately embodies ACTUAL power, and thus the wounded feminine perceives KNOWLEDGE as power (scarcity perspective). They have forgotten that POWER is KNOWLEDGE, and they already HAVE IT.
Most everybody has this very backward.
The wounded masculine represents disembodied INFORMATION which desires to merge with the feminine by BECOMING power (and therefore desires to become a symbol of power). The wounded masculine cannot comprehend the true merging with their own INTERNAL feminine.
Well, that was fun! This was a very complex paradigm to unwind, so some small errors are possible and I reserve the right to modify as needed. Your processing helps my processing. Happy to answer any questions.
Thank you for reading. May this information bring you deeper self-trust, sovereignty, joy, and ease in your mission here on earth.
Feel free to share.
P.S. This corresponds with another writing, The Backward Masculine
There are lots of amazing awakened beings out there. But many don’t know how to teach. To communicate effectively. They say beautiful and very true statements, but the vibration is placed so far out of reach that it triggers more confusion.
And so their students and clients stay in a neverending rat race.
This is why old school channels are still in business doing exactly the same thing after so many years with little to no evolution in presentation. Because very few people can successfully implement it.
It’s certainly not intentional in most cases. And unfortunately, being awakened is not sufficient credibility anymore.
This work requires maturity, patience, skill, listening, adjustment, and humility above all else.
The biggest gift a teacher can give themselves is ensuring that their communications provide effective changes for those who show up to receive.
The biggest gift a teacher can give themselves is showing up so effectively that they make their teachings obsolete and are forced to evolve into whatever is needed next.
Please don’t try to decipher philosophy that doesn’t have any foundation in actual trauma-informed human psychology. Philosophy (in my view) is a waste of time. The real work rings profoundly true and hits you like a brick wall. Stops you in your tracks and drops your jaw.
Yes, this work can at times be easy and graceful, and simultaneously it must assist us in approaching the most uncomfortable parts of the psyche or nothing will shift. That’s exactly what gives personal development a bad name in the mainstream.
I am challenging myself to go deeper and get more raw than ever before this year, knowing that my own ongoing evolution is absolutely connected to the evolution of the incredible people I assist.
I have given my life away to this. Not as martyrdom but because I trust the process.
I am yours. And therefore I can take ownership of navigating humanity, thus empowering others to do the same.
In absolute service to this family of us. Blessings
People speak about Triggers as if they are problems.
This is exactly the backward perspective in our culture.
This perspective is based on shame.
“This person is never triggered, so they’re cool. This person is triggered all the time, so they are annoying.
Let’s be the “Good” person, who never gets triggered! Yay!”
This is entirely driven by unhealthy self-images that are motivated to HIDE the Truth. To HIDE from the real issue.
I had a client recently who said: “I hope you don’t get triggered when I work with you, I tend to trigger a lot of the healers who have tried to help me.”
This may be completely True! And it’s only remarkable because those healers were afraid of their triggers.
My response “Actually, I’m planning on getting Triggered. That’s the medicine. That’s the doorway into the Quantum Field. If you don’t trigger me I’ll trigger myself!”
So, what’s on the other side of the fear of triggers?
Glory. Power. Truth. Clarity. Ease. Individuation.
A trigger is simply an activation of trauma. Trauma contains a HUGE amount of unprocessed energy. That energy could be from personal experience or it could be collective wounding.
This unprocessed energy contains TIME. We step out of TIME, when we step INTO a trigger. This is the liminal space, the quantum field, the awakened dream, the causal body, the core creator body. Whatever terminology is used, that’s where it’s hidden.
By embracing and moving into this experience, by clearly recognizing triggers as doorways and opportunities, we shed the SHAME with which they are typically associated. If you need an enemy, let it be the shame instead of the powerful expression.
People often imagine there is a ‘Right” thing to say. This is a blockage on our True expression. The “Right” thing is simply expressing the energy the nervous system is holding. It’s not a specific sentence, it’s a sentiment. It doesn’t even need to be heard by other people, it only needs to be heard by the individual whose system contains the trauma.
The uncomfortable truth MUST come out if we are to scrub our systems of distortion. To come back into alignment with our soul.
The MORE uncomfortable it is, the MORE power it contains. Power lives in pain. The pressure which creates pain is Power, which can be rerouted into our chosen focus. It’s uncomfortable because we are accustomed to disowning our power. We have been trained to be rule followers. We have been trained to avoid intimidating people. We have been trained to prefer weakness over being perceived as a threat. We have been trained to believe we are NOT innocent, to believe we are NOT angels, to believe we are NOT trustworthy with power.
This conditioning has prevented us from individuation from our parents and from the collective. The more deeply we see and VALUE our infinitely UNIQUE experience, the more we recognize our INDIVIDUAL gifts, the more we recognize that everybody’s gifts are entirely unique and that there is actually no competition. Living in a culture of deep permission is actually NOT dangerous. Living a life of deep permission is literally how we have been designed.
As we individuate, the clarity of our desires becomes louder than the collective noise which has previously been drowning us out. It takes focus and practice to amplify and act upon the true direction of our soul. Moving our focus into that stream opens up an infinitely expansive flow of power, which we can continue to exponentially increase by seeking and destroying all blockages with vigilance and precision. This decisive attunement further builds our self-trust and empowers us to assist others in the process as well.
Thanks for reading, happy to answer any questions. Feel free to share.
We’ve been taught some real bullsh*t about addiction.
It’s not as black and white as it’s been presented.
Every unconscious addiction is based on unprocessed grief, which is also a lack of connection.
There are also conscious addictions, which are very helpful and necessary.
Every addiction is serving a purpose.
Negative addictions cause people to temporarily feel connected and provides some sense of their needs being fulfilled. Some sense of wholeness.
Positive addictions give people an outlet of expression. A forum in which they can cultivate a skillset.
I am expressing it this way, in favor of the word “addiction”, because the deeper issue is actually around the concept of addition itself. By salvaging and neutralizing this word, we become less afraid of our desires.
I recently worked with a client who struggled with overeating. I had her try the statement “I’m passionate about delicious food”. It was challenging for her to say, even though it’s true, because she was afraid of her desire. What if I become TOO passionate?
Well, actually that’s a great thing. When true passion shows up, the food will stop being objectified and start being truly appreciated. Maybe you’ll become a chef.
What if someone has a sex addiction? The negative addiction is driven by loneliness, desperation, greed, distraction, objectification.
But what if the addiction is truly owned and transformed into a higher calling? For me, this meant thoroughly enjoying celibacy. The powerful clear boundary was surprisingly refreshing and gave me a deep understanding of the safe energy people need in order to feel around other sexual beings. I like to say, all healing is sexual healing.
Going cold-turkey on most addictions without looking at the deeper need is generally going to cause terrible consequences. Unless we are prepared to replace it with something.
One of the funny things about 12 step programs (which have been amazingly effective for millions of people) is that that the meetings can be replacement addictions for whatever they are quitting. They provide a form of connection.
It’s often surprising to people when they discover that cannabis addiction can be resolved by using cannabis – but differently. The way I work with cannabis in a shamanic capacity, it’s impossible to become negatively addicted because it is highly uncomfortable, sometimes leading to vomiting, and always requires profound courage. It is never the same experience twice. It’s a complete unknown and always a risk to the ego. This leaves nothing to crave or to be addicted to. This approach causes people to deeply respect her power and to refrain from recreational usage.
A negative addiction is a passion that is not fully owned. A smoker who is berating themselves during their entire cigarette is going to give themselves extreme anxiety and will feel the urge for another band-aid smoke very soon. But a smoker who is fully committed to getting massive enjoyment from their cigarette won’t need another one when they deeply scratch the itch.
What we’re really addicted to is avoiding the fear of going without, underneath which we are addicted to the fear of scarcity.
Every unconscious addiction is run by fear of death at the deepest level. And this is maintained by avoidance. Fear is the Fear of Fear. And so when we look at the fear and get deeply honest and courageous about the true motives, the whole puzzle unravels and we become free to choose authentically.
Every spiritual master has at least 1 – 3 intentional addictions. Addictions are necessary to keep us alive, as channels of expression. Our mind needs an activity to rest on without constantly shifting. Many spiritual masters have been smokers or drinkers. Or eaters. Some have of course been sex addicts, which is a very challenging addiction to maintain without crossing boundaries. I’m not completely opposed to it, it worked for Osho and others like him, but they also garnered a lot of hatred and turbulence in that so it’s not something I would personally recommend. However, I don’t condemn it either.
Sex addiction specifically is generally based on the belonging wound which can be addressed quite deeply to the point of self-sufficiency, so the compulsive component is not necessarily difficult to integrate. If it’s then completely conscious and intentional (not driven by fear-based cravings), none of my business if you have at it ??
Many people are both driven to be disciplined and at the same time motivated to honor desires and to give the body what it wants. So, how do we know what the right answer is?
It’s not a question of when and what we do (masculine) it’s a question of how we do it (feminine). If we see our craving for something or someone, and we take full responsibility for honoring that craving as an entry point into a PROCESS, it disallows us from living in an illusion that we can actually emerge ‘satisfied’. Satisfaction is always temporary.
The true goal is NOT satisfaction, it is integration. We are weaving the perceived experience of satisfaction deeply into our being in order to touch the part of us which fears we can not ever get what we really want.
We are learning to re-parent ourselves. Our inner child will always want more! More! More! Instead of drawing a hard line, we can gently empathize with the true needs of the inner child and determine an intentional and generative solution.
I hope this sheds some light. Happy to answer any questions. Feel free to share.
ANGER: THE DAM AND THE DOORWAY
Today we will be seeing the energy of Anger through a new lens.
Anger is our “calling for backup”, bringing extra resources to empower us for a situation.
Anger is a necessary (and often the most challenging) stage of the grieving process.
But before we begin I must first say:
I am so sorry you were hurt. Your childhood was painful. Your life has been a trial by fire.
This brings me such deep sadness.
At the same time, I am so grateful for your incredible strength. Your willingness to persevere. This willpower is nothing short of a miracle. I’m sure you have surprised yourself at times, with what you are capable of. Because your Will is made if the same stuff as the Will of the planet. You are a qualified representative of Earth herself.
I hear so much about people not knowing how to handle their anger. It destroys relationships, self-trust, and creates wounded children.
And at the same time, your anger is justified. Your anger is literally the Earth protecting herself.
Anger is the arising of power in the consciousness. In response to a boundary. It can be a boundary that was crossed, or a boundary that is expected or perceived to be crossed. Anger is an excuse to be powerful when the personality structure normally rejects that particular aspect and depth of power. It is the will of God arriving to help you.
Anger is also an indicator of a failed dam, a power protection mechanism. Because the sense of self-limits power and anger is the dam breaking through. Someone who gets angry often is generally closer to reality than the person who shuts down their anger and disallows the floodgates to ever burst.
I recently wrote “anger is the orgasm you’ve been looking for”. I’ll expand further on this now.
The feminine orgasm specifically (which is readily available to men as well) is a turning inside out of sense of the self inside of power. Thus, the feminine orgasm is the most direct way in which power can typically be funneled into a nervous system.
Anger is the result of disallowing the desired orgasm. Orgasms are generally experienced when one feels safe, and anger is generally experienced when one feels unsafe. Both are the same flood of power response, but interpreted in different ways.
Anger CAN exist in the space of a masculine orgasm, and CAN NOT exist in the space of a feminine orgasm. Thus, masculine orgasms are highly addictive whereas feminine orgasm requires massive courage to experience. Both are possible regardless of gender.
It is a crucial but often a scary task to surgically reunite the fractured aspects of self, anger and default consciousness. To reinterpret the sensation of anger as a flood of God’s backup coming for help. This is because the presence of anger always depends in the presence of shame. When the shame is dissolved, power becomes orgasmic.
Shame is anger directed at ourselves. It is God’s reinforcements being misused and misdirected. The dam turns out to be made of Pure Gold.
Shame is so incredibly painful. It is also known as “interpersonal disconnection”. This is the cause of power blindness and has resulted in virtually every problem known to humankind.
People often prize their shame, mistaking negative shame for positive shame. Positive shame drives us to “do better” and negative shame drives us to “feel bad”. People often say “I’ll do better!” But what they really feel is “I suck!”. Getting honest about the existence of negative shame is getting honest about addiction to self-abuse.
By experiencing the sadness caused by the self-abuse of shame, we can once again see anger as the divine neutral power it actually is.
Shutting down anger literally creates toxicity which must be purged. Breathing brings in oxygen and helps the fire burn as it needs to.
The energetic movement known as Forgiveness is releasing the dams of negative shame.
Channeling the reclaimed power from anger, with clarity, can create wondrous and seemingly impossible outcomes. We are so ridiculously powerful, and hardly anyone realizes the extent to what we can do.
Shame keeps us in the addiction to the realm of scarcity: time, need and fear.
Beyond this, we are superconscious wizard warrior synchronicity based plasma beings.
The bridge is revealing itself.
[Artwork by Alisha Lee Jeffers]