We are attracted to drama. Our nervous systems crave intensity and contrast. This is the unconscious inner conflict – the seeking of pain and self-sabotage which is so confusing to people. This is why we like stories with lots of drama, like discovering that I had ants crawling all over me. It makes things interesting and therefore to the nervous system (as long as it fits the safety of our identities).
So when we consciously own our darkness, the nervous system no longer needs to seek it out and find it unconsciously. And self-sabotage fades away.